Talk about it
How to talk to my loved ones?
Telling your loved ones that you have cancer is a difficult and emotional moment. How do I tell my partner? My child(ren)? My friends? When do I tell them? How much do they need to know? How much do I want them to know? If I have young children is it easier to not tell them at all? Do I need to tell them?
Initiating the conversation with someone you trust, such as your partner or a close friend, can serve as a vital first step. You may want to postpone the initial conversation with some of your close family members until you have more insight about your prognosis and your treatment options and schedule. But remember that it is best that your loved ones hear the news from you directly.
It's normal to worry about how your family and friends will react. They might be dealing with their own worries while trying to stay strong for you. Sharing feelings openly can help everyone support each other better. Some people might find it hard to say the right thing or worry about upsetting you accidentally. Some people want to protect their loved ones by not sharing when they feel poorly, or when they feel pain or anxiety. This is a risk because it may lead to a lack of trust when others notice that something is wrong. By being open and transparent when you feel unwell, your loved ones are more likely to believe you when you say you feel well. It is also important to always be honest about how you feel physically and emotionally.
Communication strategies that may help:
- See the first conversation as a starting point – it is the beginning of an ongoing process of giving information and reassurance.
- It is OK if you get emotional.
- Figure out how you feel and what you are comfortable sharing with others.
How to talk to my wider social circle?
It's important for you to decide who you feel comfortable talking to about your cancer. You're not obligated to inform everyone you know, and how you share the news can vary from person to person. Making a list of individuals you want to speak with face-to-face might be helpful. Additionally, it's essential to communicate clearly with others about practical matters, such as whether you welcome visits or have specific preferences. Others may be afraid to contact you out of respect for your privacy. Take the initiative to contact the people you want to engage with.
You might consider speaking with a psychologist or a specialized psycho-oncologist before discussing how to share sensitive topics, like breaking the news to your family. These professionals can assist you in determining what you want to communicate and how best to approach it. Consult your clinician or onco-coach to inquire about a referral to such a specialist.